i know i will before holding your hand before kissing your cheek in public and for all of that i’m so sorry all i want to do is move straight towards your body my arm your shoulder my lips your cheek but i let strangers pull me back caught in a net i was taught to swim around the time i was taught to wear dresses and barrettes and some of that i’m still not so good at
i hesitate because if i magnet my hand to yours that means we are together meaning visible meaning open to interpretation i hate thinking like that it’s too heavy to carry in this heat but looks are being thrown at us like a baseball and my reaction is to catch and hold on for too long
inside of me lies moments in which i stumble each crumpled like a first draft of my history paper i don’t like the way this started
but i wake up and put on the same clothes and try to stutter-step a little less i am and was and will be gendered i don’t care i just want to be pretty just know i never hesitate when i’m taking off my clothes in front of you they’re like warm water falling off of me and that is everything that is everything
Laura Buccieri lives in Manhattan, where she is getting her MFA in Poetry at The New School. You can find her most recent work in Prelude, Potluck, Word Riot, FORTH, and Nourrir. Check out more of her work at LauraBuccieri.com.